Kurt Sandies 2017-12-14T17:35:55+00:00

Kurt Sandies

Most Noticeable Physical Feature: Being a banana

Most Likely Found: Making a bitchin' Tom Collins

Favourite Colour: Aquamarine

Favourite Food: Nachos

Least Favourite Food: Vindaloo

Likes: Rock 'n' roll, complaining, sexy ladies

Dislikes: Queues, chick flicks, being mistaken for a plantain
Ever since the 'Paranormalypse', all living things have been affected since a good portion of paranormal beings decided to emigrate from the Other Dimension and live on Earth. Certain fruit, for instance, gained sentience, and Kurt Sandies is no exception.

A rabid alcoholic who frequently indulges in angry shouting matches, Kurt frequents the bar and spends his days moaning about how hard it is being a banana. In his better moods, he'll attempt to pick up attractive women, but inevitably ends up verbally threatening them and having them walk off.

Kurt used to be part of the local rock band 'Satan's Chapstick' before they broke up after their first hit single on Greenwich radio. Hoping to get back together and take the music world by storm, Kurt has a twinkle in his eye that says we haven't seen the last of his rock 'n' roll antics. In the meantime, however, he enjoys lazing around the mansion and drinking cocktails made from the fruit that are non-sentient. He's less stringent regarding vegetables though, who he considers "dickheads".
The creation of Kurt Sandies has been greatly inspired by Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall's performances in Bottom.

Originally named Ted Sanders. Upon the realisation that there is a famous American author by the same name, Marina decided to change it to Sed Tanders. After audience confusion from having two characters with similar sounding names ('Sev' and 'Sed'), it was decided that a fresh new name was in order.